By Stephie, on Saturday 22nd January, 2011 at 19:05 pm
 The muddier the better It’s my first race of the season tomorrow. That sounds so good doesn’t it, like I’m all professional and serious or something! Well I’m trying to take it a bit more seriously and I’m trying to up my game a bit. Just a bit. I’ve got a few goals that I want to achieve this year: I want to get my ‘mile per minute’ time down considerably (7 minute miles sounds good doesn’t it? I’m not sure it sounds achievable though!) and I want to complete the Cornish Grand Prix. Don’t ask me why ‘cos I don’t really know! I do know that running can help my moods (as long as they’re not too low), but without specific goals I know I’d lose motivation and just sit on the sofa vegging instead. (When you’re that low it feels like your backside’s glued to the sofa anyway.)
I feel a bit like I’ve signed my life away for the year, in a good way. To complete the Grand Prix you have to run a minimum of 8 races from the 15 on offer across Cornwall and two of them have to be 10+ miles. I thought I’d get one of those out of the way early. So I’ll be lining up with around 400 other runners tomorrow morning, ready to take on Stormforce 10. Of course I’ll be lining up at the back and it’s more likely Stormforce 10 will be taking me on, but you get the gist. I ran 10 miles last Tuesday and felt really good, so I’m hoping I’ve recovered enough for tomorrow. But, I’ve heard mention of steep hills…
What are you doing this weekend, anything fun? The weather’s set to be fine here so I hope you’ll be out enjoying it too  I’ll let you know how the race goes tomorrow. So until then, be good!
love Stephie x
By Stephie, on Saturday 1st January, 2011 at 23:58 pm
If I can type quickly enough, I should just about get this posted before the 7th day of Christmas!! You remember this – the Fairisle hat with flaps that I made for Kim this Christmas?
 The reindeers are off for a walk! I think I promised you a picture of him wearing it, if he’d put it on his head!
 Kim and his daddy on Boxing Day This is the first time he wore it, on a Boxing Day walk along the cliffs from Porthtowan to Chapel Porth. He’s worn it every time he’s been out since. I am a happy mummy! There’s nothing like the pleasure you get from seeing people enjoy something you’ve made especially for them; it’s a real buzz and makes all the effort so worthwhile What did you make that someone else will love? (‘A mess’ is not the right answer!)
 Porthtowan
By Stephie, on Saturday 1st January, 2011 at 03:19 am
 Truro Cathedral Wishing all you lovely people a wonderful new year, health, happiness and plenty of creativity!
With my best wishes
love Stephie x
By Stephie, on Sunday 28th November, 2010 at 19:34 pm
 The course takes in part of the Falmouth coastline. I had 2 inches of frozen snow on my windscreen this morning, but I diligently scraped it off. Engine running and smiling to myself, I thought “well, I’m not going to get up the lane anyway. It looks like sheet ice”. I made it to the top of the lane and out on to the main road. “Dammit, stupid car.” My hopes of getting out of the 5 mile ‘Falmouth Mob Match‘ road race due to the weather were dashed.
In fact the weather was glorious today, full sunshine, no wind, but bitterly cold. Cold enough for there to be plenty of ice on the roads. I doubted many would turn up for the run, preferring to stay tucked up in bed in the warm. Of the twelve women registered from our club only 5 showed; it was a similar story for the men. The rest of the Cornish clubs (this was the last race of the season) didn’t seem to have succumbed to the warmth of their duvets. They were out in force: the field was about 420.
The race started promptly at 11am and just to get us in the mood, our first stretch was up a lovely steep hill which turned a bend up another one. Thankfully we had a bit of respite as we headed down the next extremely steep one before running round Swanpool Lake (I’d describe it as more of a big pond!). I couldn’t help sniggering to myself when I heard other runners hoping, in desperation, that the course wouldn’t be taking them back up the hill we’d just run down. Of course it did. It was a killer and, I thought, rather aptly named ‘Cemetery Hill’ after the cemetery that runs alongside it. I felt slightly sick having run all the way to the top of it, but rather pleased with myself that I’d overtaken a few runners on the way. (Those hill repeats last Wednesday may have paid off!) We continued along the sea front and the field began to thin out a bit, most of it being ahead of me. By the time we got to the end of the ‘promenade’ the faster runners were already on their way back. It was rather freaky seeing a woman wearing nothing but a cropped top and shorts flash by at the speed of light (the temperature was zero!). In fact she’s the sort of runner I picture in my mind when I want to gee myself up a bit – I imagine I look just like her: strong, fast, making it look so easy. Imagination is a great thing, the reality is I look the complete opposite. Still, I was glad to see a few familiar faces from our club in the front group.
We carried on round up another steep hill past the docks and there was a lot of heavy breathing going around me on at this point. And still no walking for me. Just ahead of me I could see another team mate and I kept her in my sights until the last mile or so, when she dashed off too. It was rather comforting to have her there and when she was gone I felt I had to up my pace a bit – I knew I was last in for our club, but I really didn’t want it to be in an ‘embarrassing’ time! (In all honesty though, if you can run 5 miles at all, there’s nothing embarrassing about it). We ran back along the promenade to cross the finish line and I virtually fell across it in 51 minutes and a couple of seconds. Just outside my ‘hoped for’ time, and with at least 50 others behind me. So I’m well chuffed with that – almost 10 minute miles as opposed to the over 12 minute miles in the half marathons. And I thought running faster would be impossible. Just goes to show what a bit of training (ok, so very little for this race) and a lot of encouragement can do.
Now I need a shower and something hearty to eat, so I’ll say aurevoir for now, hope you had a good weekend too and will speak to you again soon
love Stephie x
By Stephie, on Saturday 27th November, 2010 at 16:55 pm
 Falling egg production means savour the poached eggs on toast while you can! Is this it? Is it really here? I think I’ve noticed a few tell-tale signs. The stunning colours of autumn are all but gone, the leaves are turning brown and falling quickly to the ground and in their place are the bright red holly berries. I’ve seen a few snowberries too. More birds are coming to the feeders, and there’s such a huge variety. Lily, my cat, seems to prefer spending most of her time inside sleeping and the ‘presents’ she normally brings (in the form of half dead rodents) have stopped. The girls’ egg production is dropping off too. Then there were the reports of severe weather and heavy snow in parts of the country, and floods closer to home. But the real proof was two nights ago, when I finally succumbed and turned on the bedroom heater. It was a bitter disappointment. I had hoped to last at least until December, in a bid to save money, but needs must and waking up with a freezing cold nose is not something I enjoy. I sometimes wonder how I’ve got to this age (old enough!) and still can’t afford a few home comforts such as heating. A failed business and ill health come to mind. But what am I going to do about it? I don’t want to be one of those old ladies that ends up living in one room during the winter months, with her feet tucked into a pair of heated slippers, a hot water bottle and blanket on her lap and only the tv to keep her company. The way things are looking at the moment though…
Goals and plans are in order I think, but where to start! Where would you start, if you were me? Do you have any suggestions, only I could really do with some right now. I want to improve my financial security for the short and long term (I don’t have any at the moment), but feel at a loss. You know me well enough, but to sum me up in a few words I’d say “creative, single, poor, no assets, sometimes a bit mental, mother to one, can sometimes be really focussed/determined/ambitious, can sometimes be very productive”. If there’s anything I’ve missed off, let me know! I’m thinking that my first goal should be to have a plan of some sort for next year, ready for the 1st of January 2011 of course. A few weeks to cogitate then. I shall need it! In the mean time I’ll leave you with a few wintery wonders I discovered this morning
 When I opened the kitchen door, I was a bit surprised at the view!  I'm sure there was a chicken coop somewhere around here...  Darcey took her first tentative steps in the snow
 Dusty waited for her feed. In vain. It had been iced into the car...  Lily made her feelings known!  And I went for a run across the snowy fields, grateful for my Goretex trail running shoes  And more than a little bit pleased that I'd bought these yesterday!
By Stephie, on Friday 19th November, 2010 at 12:43 pm
 A stunning walk through the woods at Trelissick Autumn colour has been spectacular this year, the whole landscape seems to be glowing. Burnt reds and oranges, bright yellows and vivid greens have been tickling my creative drive recently, filling me with ideas for potential projects.
Quite frankly I need it. I’ve needed something to take my mind off the trials and tribulations of what feels like endless repairs to this Macbook and the ensuing down time. I’ve followed Apple’s recommendation too and have bitten the £120 bullet, splashing out on the latest Mac box set, which includes Snow Leopard and new versions of iLife and iWork. So far, so good and I’m really enjoying being here again. I can’t fault the service I’ve received under the Apple care plan and the guys at my local Stormfront store have been great. They even know me by name now. Which isn’t such a good thing, apparently!
I’ve been experiencing a different sort of ‘down-time’ too. The mood sort. The general trend of my moods has been slowly dropping for months now and lately I’m finding it increasingly difficult to hide. I sit here alone with tears rolling down my face for reasons I don’t really understand, and often for no reason at all. I become my harshest critic, causing even more damage, but feeling that that’s all I deserve, all I’m worth. But I keep on running and I keep on making things (often throwing them away or destroying them afterwards). I feel like I’m constantly drowning, but just manage to keep my head bobbing above the water by grasping at any flotsam on the surface. Then I let go as soon as I realise it’s not going to keep me afloat and I grasp helplessly around for something else. So I do too much and feel like I’ve accomplished nothing. Vicious circles. Cycles I recognise, but have no idea how to get out of.
Then one day this week an email from Big Think dropped into my inbox and I came across this article. I listened to it with interest, but thinking it would be simplistic and not apply to me because I’m way beyond being unhappy! Even so, there was one point that I felt I could try and reflect on more positively…
5 Steps for Being Happier Today
No 1. Accept painful emotions? Ahem, I have so many of them I’m not sure I have a choice!
No 2. Texting whilst with your friends? I don’t do that, ‘cos when I’m with my friends I’ve got no-one to text anyway!
No 3. With the amount of exercise I do AND the amount of “powerful psychiatric drugs” I take, how come I’m not ecstatically happy all the time 
No 5. GUILTY. I think this is so true, but I’ve developed a way of coping with (avoiding) my depression by doing as much as I can so that I don’t have time to think. It’s not a good tactic and it really doesn’t work! (For one thing, you feel bad for having so many unfinished things on the go!)
No 4. I like this idea. I think I could do worse than to reflect on some of these, so to get started here are 5 things I’m grateful for (I love the fact that it’s “grateful for” and not ‘happy about’ or ‘made you smile today’):
 1. The most beautiful woodland walk in the company of a very special friend  2. The clear blue skies this autumn  3. Still being able to find something beautiful, even when it rains  4. Having the time to look around me  5. Still finding inspiration to make things, even when I feel least like doing it. I hope you’re having a good week and that the sun is shining and the leaves are gold for you too. I have some things to show you that I’ve made over the last couple of weeks (yep, there are some things I haven’t destroyed. Yet!), so pop by soon, it would be lovely to see you again.
love Stephie x
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I'm running a 28 mile marathon in memory of Josie this February. Come and find out why.
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